I feel ashamed that I'm posting again. But no one else has posted and I wanted some feedback on my latest one-shot.
Author Name: dawn_afterglow
Fic Title: Unveiled Secrets
Characters: Lily Evans Potter, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter
Genre: Angst, Romance, General
Critique: No Preference. But be honest, please. I can take it, I promise.
Word Count: 3944
This story was written after reading 'and you're free' by eudaimon
. I want to thank her immensely for allowing me to play with a quote from 'and you're free' and revolving my fic around it. There is an excessive amount of italics and parentheses. Scenes could be fleshed out a tad bit more but it's all right as it is, I think. It took me long enough to write the fic anyway. Concrit is welcomed--please be honest.
The quote: “He does the only thing that he can. He tells Harry a story about four boys in school, magic, smoke screens and tricks of light, about a beautiful girl that they'd loved in different ways and a prince without a crown who did everything that he could and nothing that he said he would but was kind and gentle and universally adored.”
It mostly focuses around the "...about a beautiful girl that they'd loved in different ways..." Actually, that's basically the whole point of this fic but it doesn't sound right if I chop up the quote. ( Like a locked treasure chest, Sirius is sure her contents will be treasured when she is openedCollapse )